("The Evolution" by Pearl Jam starts to play as we see clips of ECWF wrestlers slamming other wrestlers on the mat and using weapons.  We also see Hardcore Johnny Fox do that stunt from ElectroSlam 2000.  Two wrestlers are seen wrestling up the ramp, then the camera pans higher to the ElecTron where the logo for the ECWF shows up.  Then, an explosion covers the logo and we see Jack Bennings, Rave and Daryl Johnson sitting in the commentators area.  Jack Bennings seems to be wearing a fancy tux.  He also has flowers and a box of chocolates laying in front of him.)

Daryl Johnson : Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Monday Night Sizzler.

Jack Bennings : Happy Valentine's day!!

Daryl Johnson : Of course, it is and I hope everyone's enjoying this Hallmark hol...

Rave : What's up with that get-up Jacky?

Daryl Johnson : He says that he's meeting someone he chats on the net with today.

Rave : That's the only way you can meet a woman, right Bennings?

Jack Bennings : Hey, I meet lots of women.

Rave : Yeah, but most of them told you that they only want to be friends after seeing that ugly mug of yours.

Daryl Johnson : O.K., enough insults.  I know how far this will go.

Jack Bennings : Well, he started.

Daryl Johnson *sigh* : Well, even if it is Valentine's day, there is no celebration for love in the ECWF.

Jack Bennings : Well, they sure love to kick ass.  Ha ha ha!!

Rave : Oh, now that's funny.

Daryl Johnson : Let's start up this action for the first Valentine's day in the year 2000!!!

Terrence Shaw : this next tag team match is set for one fall.  Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 388lbs, representing the Goth Gods, Trinity and Max Dex!!!

(The crowd boos as "Sex & Death" by Motorhead starts to play over the PA system.  The lights fade to black as flames climb their way up the entrance, then the Goth Gods walk out from the entrance.  They head to ringside and climbs into the ring.)

Terrence Shaw : And their oponents, representing the West Coast, at a combined weight of 421lbs, Lady B and the ECWF's National Champion, Michael Cash!!

(The crowd cheers lowdly.  "California love" starts to play over the PA system as laser lights flicker throughout the arena, smoke begins filling the entrance area.  after a few moments, the smoke clears, and Cash is standing in the entrance with Lady B by his side and Dr. Dre. Cash throws up the 'West Side' sign with his right hand, and a set of pyro goes off around his feet.  The crowd cheers lowder. He then makes his way to the ring.  Michael Cash and Max Dex decide to start things off.  They lock up.  Max shoves Cash to the mat.  The crowd boos.  Michael Cash gets back to his feet.  They lock up once again.  Max shoves Michael Cash to the mat once again.  The crowd boos.  Michael cash gets back to his feet.)

Rave : Looks like that Damn piece of chinchila dung is a real glutton for punishment.

(They lock up once again.  Michael Cash turns it into a headlock.  Michael Cash raises one of his hands for the crowd.  The fans cheer.  Max Dex lifts up Michael Cash and gives him an atomic drop.  Michael Cash climbs back, using the ropes.  Max Dex comes from behind and gives him a low blow.)

Jack Bennings : Now there's something he won't use tonight for Valentine's day.

Rave : Talking about yourself Jacky?

(Michael Cash goes down.  Max Dex gets Michael Cash to his feet and sends him to the ropes.  Cash bounces back and avoids a clothesline by Dex.  Michael Cash bounces off the ropes again and takes down Max with a flying clothesline.  Max Dex is down.  Michael Cash gives him a few quick elbows to the chest.  Michael Cash gets Max Dex to his feet then sends him to the corner.  Max tags in Trinity as Michael Cash tags in Lady B.  Lady B tackles Trinity and punches Trinity furiously.  Trinity grabs Lady B by the neck and starts choking her.  Trinity and Lady B get back to their feet, Trinity still has her hands around Lady B's neck.  Trinity rams Lady B to the corner.  Trinity scoops up Lady B and slams her to the mat.  Trinity goes for the pin.  "1...2"  Lady B kicks out.  Lady B sits back up, trying to get her breath back.  Trinity grabs her by the hair then takes her down with a snap mare.  Trinity gets Lady B back to her feet.  Lady B hits Trinity with an elbow to the mid section.  Lady B takes down Trinity with a DDT.  Lady B sits on Trinity's back, puts Trinity's arms on her legs then pulls her head up.)

Daryl Johnson : Lady B with a submission hold.

(The referee checks if she submits.  Lady B lets go.  Lady B gets Trinity back to her feet then takes her down with a power bomb.  Lady B grabs Trinity's legs and sets her up in a sharpshooter.)

Rave : Lady B might not have much experience in the ring, but she sure knows her submissions.

(Trinity goes for the rope and grabs it.  the referee tells Lady B to let go.  Trinity tags in Max Dex.  Max Dex gets into the ring.  Lady B backs away and tags in Michael Cash.  Michael Cash runs in and spears Max Dex.  Michael Cash gets Max back to his feet then send him to the ropes.  Max bounces back and Michael Cash takes him down with a dropkick.  Michael Cash gets Max back to his feet, sends him to the ropes with an irish whip but Max reverses it.  Michael Cash bounces off the ropes then Max sends him to ringside with a hiptoss.)

Daryl Johnson : Max Dex, taking the fight to ringside.

(Max climbs down to ringside and gets Michael Cash back to his feet.  The referee begins the count.  "1...2..."  Lady B comes from behind and hits Max Dex with a chair. "3...4..." Lady B helps Michael Cash back to his feet and helps him into the ring.  Trinity takes down Lady B with a clothesline.  Max Dex climbs back into the ring.  Michael Cash headbutts Max Dex.  Lady B and Trinity brawl at ringside.  Max falls but has one of his hands on the top rope.  Max swings himself back up.  Michael Cash grabs a hold of Max's hair then starts punching him. The crowd starts counting the punches.  "1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9"  Michael Cash pauses for a moment and kisses his fist.)

Jack Bennings : Is that really necessary?

(Then he punches Max in the head one final time "10!!!".  Max goes down to ringside.  The crowd cheers and start chanting "West Coast, West Coast, West Coast...!!!"  Michael Cash climbs up every corner and raises the West Coast sign.  The crowd cheers like mad.)

Rave : Damn!!  My freakin' ears!!!

(Lady B climbs back in the ring and does the same as Cash.  Max Dex climbs back up.  Michael Cash brings Max in the ring with a verticle suplex.  Michael Cash gets back to his feet and raises the West Coast sign.  The crowd cheers more lowdly.  Michael Cash gets Max Dex back to his feet and takes him down with the West Coast Earthquake.)

Daryl Johnson : this is it right here ladies and gentlemen!!

(The referee counts the pin.  "1...2...3")

Terrence Shaw : The winners of this match, the West Coast representatives, Michael Cash and Lady B!!!

Daryl Johnson : Nobody else in the ECWF has as much charisma as Michael Cash.

Jack Bennings : Personally, I say thet he's just oozing machismo.

Rave : Isn't there a copyright on that phrase?

Jack Bennings : Who cares, they're just words.  Let's get on to the next match.  I can't wait to see one of my homies kicking the ass of this "juggalo" guy.
 

Terrence Shaw : This next match is set for one fall is for the spot in the Bash for Cash tournament.  First, making his way to the ring at the present time, weighing in at 250lbs, stands at a height of 6'7" from Compton California, Kracker D!!!!

(The crowd cheers.  The lights go out and "Can I get a...." by Jay-Z begins to play. Strobe lights and lasers are flashing everywhere in the arena as Kracker D make his way to the ring.  The crowd starts to chant "West Coast, West Coast, West Coast...")

Terrence Shaw : And his oponent, weighing in at 234lbs and stands at a height of 6'1", hailing from Oakland, California, The JUGGALOOOOOOO!!!!

(There are some cheers from the crowd.  The lights fade to black then "Hey man, nice shot" by Filter starts playing over the PA system.  the lights come back on and the juggalo comes out. He walks down to the ring and climbs the top rope then does a backflip into the ring. The Juggalo and Kracker D shake hands.  The bell rings {ding...ding...ding..} both men square off at the center of the ring.  They tie up, Juggalo twists Kracker D's arm into an arm bar, suddenly Juggalo puts Kracker D's arm between his legs hooks Kracker D's other arm and hammers him with a pump handle slam.)

Daryl Johnson : Ooh!!  Kracker D wasn't expecting that one.

(Juggalo grabs Kracker D and hauls him to his feet.  Juggalo then plants him back down with a DDT.   Juggalo grabs Kracker D's head and applies a camel clutch.  The ref checks for a tap out then notices that Juggalo is choking Kracker D and tells him to release the hold.  Juggalo grabs Kracker D and picks him up again..this time Kracker D tries to fight back.  He throws lefts and rights into the abdomen of Juggalo.  He then grabs Juggalo and delivers a vertical suplex.  Kracker D quickly climbs the ropes, gets to the top, and tries for a guillotine leg drop.  Juggalo easily rolls out of the way.)

Rave : Juggalo gets out of there just in time.

(Juggalo picks up Kracker D and throws him against the ropes..Juggalo misses with a clothesline..Kracker D rebounds off the ropes and nails Juggalo with a drop kick.)

Jack Bennings : He's going to feel that in the morning.

(Juggalo gets up holding his chin.  Kracker D grabs Juggalo and executes a jaw breaker.  Juggalo is reeling from the move.  Juggalo rests up against the ropes.  Kracker D runs at him for a clothesline, but Juggalo ducks it and flips Kracker D to the outside.)

Jack Bennings : Alright!!  It's hammer time!!!  Muah ha ha ha ha!!

Rave : Must he always talk like that?

Daryl Johnson : You haven't seen him at his worst yet.  Let's just hope he doesn't go gothic again.

Jack Bennings : Fear not, for Vampiro shall make his way back when the time will come.  Muah ha ha ha!!!

Daryl Johnson : Oh god no!!

(Juggalo quickly climbs the turnbuckle.  Juggalo signals to the fans before dropping a massive elbow onto the chest of Kracker D. The ref begins the count..{1....2....3}  Juggalo picks up Kracker D and starts slamming his head onto the guard rail.   He then goes to throw him agains the ring post but Kracker D reverses it....{4...5....6..}  Kracker D  throws Juggalo back into the ring.  Juggalo is up first however, and starts to kick Kracker D in the head when he tries to get back in the ring.  Juggalo grabs Kracker D and throws him against the ropes..when he rebounds Juggalo grabs him and hoists him up onto his shoulders..and all in one motion drops a devastating Death Valley Driver on him.)

Rave : Now that's a very affective move right there.

Jack Bennings : Humph!!  I, Vampiro, could come up with some better moves then that.

(Kracker D looks to be out cold.  Juggalo picks Kracker D up and starts to walk towards the turnbuckle.  He starts to climb up backward still holding onto Kracker D's head.  Juggalo signals to the crowd that its time to end the match.  Kracker D regains his senses and points to the rampway...the ref turns to look but there is no one there.)

Rave : What the hell is he pointing at?

(Kracker D smokes Juggalo with a low blow while the ref has his back turned.  Juggalo is still on the top rope.  Kracker D jumps up to the middle rope...bounces on it for a second then jumps off, grabs Juggalos head and DDT's him off the top rope.  Kracker D gets up and starts to gloat, he turns his back on Juggalo and raises his hands into the air..Kracker D is breathing heavily after this hard fought match..behind him Juggalo has regained his senses...Juggalo climbs back up to the top turnbuckle and sits there for a second sizing up his opponent.  Kracker D signals that its time to end the match...but before he can even turn around, Juggalo leaps off grabs Kracker D's head and devastates him with the Juggalo Jammer!!)

Jack Bennings : I, Vampiro, declare this match to be over!!

Daryl Johnson : I hate it when you say stupid stuff like that.

(Juggalo quickly jumps on top and pins Kracker D {1..2..3!!!} Juggalo wins.)

Terrence Shaw : The winner and qualifier for the Bash for Cash tournament, Juggalo!!!

(The referee raises Juggalos arm and he leaves the ring area... Kracker D gets up after a minute and holds his head.  Juggalo exits through the entrance after high fiving some fans.  Kracker D starts to leave as well when all of the sudden the lights go out.)

Daryl Johnson : What the hell's going on?

Jack Bennings : Aaaahhh!!!  I'm afraid of the dark.

Rave : That's nice Vampiro.

(Fans can be heard screaming.  When they come back on  Kracker D is laying in the middle of the ring unconscious.  Blood leaks from a nasty gash on his forehead...and on his chest in blood is the initials F.o.F.  Paramedics come to ringside to attend to Kracker D.)

Daryl Johnson : well, that was a very graphic scene.  We do not know what happened but I'm sure that the people responsible will face the...

Jack Bennings : It's gotta be the Faction of Fear, I mean, just look at those damn initials.

Rave : Gee, what gave that away?  The initials written on his chest?

Jack Bennings : Hey, anybody can frame someone else.  Just watch "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."

Daryl Johnson : Well, like most working people, we don't have the time to watch childish cartoons Jack.  Well, it's now time for our next match.

Rave : Yeah, the Hardcore Lumberjack match.  I've been looking forward to see Kade get his ass kicked in this match and with all the other wrestlers in the fed mad at the guy, I wouldn't be suprised if he'll get his ass kicked by most of the wrestlers standing outside at ringside.

Daryl Johnson : Well, we'll have to see what develops from this situation.  Let's get down to the action.
 

Terrence Shaw:  Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is a Hardcore Lumberjack Match.  Allow me now to introduce the Lumberjacks for this match.  Now, usually, the lumberjacks are split into two sides....with an equal number on both of the wrestler's sides.  But in this special match.  Kade will have no lumberjacks and Paul Mercer will have all the lumberjacks.  Now, please welcome the lumberjacks in this match.  All ten of them....Juggalo, T-Bone, Neurosis, Micheal Cash, Magic, Kracker D, Jason "Highway" McCallister, Deicide, Dusty Taylor and Danzig!!!!

(All ten men walk out from the entrance, determined to get a piece of Kade when he gets thrown out of the ring.)

Terrence Shaw : Now for the participants in this match.  Introducing first, A man who's odds of winning this match are completely against him, Kade.

(Kade comes walking out but no music, lights or pyros are goin on.  Kade is wondering why his entrance has been cut off.  Then he looks at Terrence Shaw who has a sly smile on his face and knows that Terrence is behind it. Kade walks to the ring and looks to be very unhappy.)

Daryl Johsnon : I don't think Kade will like the treatment he will receive today.

Terrence Shaw:  And now his opponent, the man who will beat Kade to an inch from his life.  Introducing his the second competitor in this match, From Alliance, Alberta, Canada, coming to the ring weighing in at 246 Lbs.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer!!!!

(Flames erupt from the entrance way and the music comes on, then "Merciless" Paul Mercer walks down beating his chest with one hand which he then raises into the air.  Fire continues to erupt as he shakes hands with the fans.  Bell rings and this one is underway.  Both men have brought weapons to the ring with them to help them in this hardcore lumberjack match.  Kade starts off by hitting "Merciless" Paul Mercer with a kick to the gut, Kade tries for a quick DDT but "Merciless" Paul Mercer blocks it and gets out of it and catches Kade with a hard clothesline.  Kade is down now and is being stompted on by "Merciless" Paul Mercer.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer gets Kade up to his feet and sends him off to a corner and then a big boot to the face.  Kade is sent to the ropes and caught with a drop toe hold.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer goes for some weapons and he grabs a garbage can and as Kade is getting up, "Merciless" Paul Mercer cracks him over the head with it.)

Jack Bennings : Wasn't Mercer against using weapons?

Rave : Yeah, but he's using those weapons to get rid of the "infestation" in the ECWF right about now.

(Kade goes down again.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer finds another weapon, this time it's a frying pan.)

Jack Bennings : damn it!!  I lost my frying pan last week and that looks just like it.

(He lets Kade get to his feet and "Merciless" Paul Mercer runs to the ropes and comes off with a shot to the head of Kade with the frying pan.)

Rave : That always hurts.

(Kade is hurt bad and is lucky to still be conscious.  Out of instincts, he rolls to the outside to take a breather.)

Daryl Johnson : That's a big mistake by Kade.

(Kade gets greeted by ten angry ECWF wrestlers and is beaten some more and roughly rolled back into the ring for "Merciless" Paul Mercer to inflict more punishement.  Kade has no where to go in this match but down.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer now has a chain wrapped around his head and goes after Kade who is in the corner.  Kade tries to scare him off with a couple of kicks but they have no effect on a primed "Merciless" Paul Mercer who just goes foward and lets his aggressions out on an already beaten Kade in the corner.)

Daryl Johnson : Kade doesn't stand a chance in this match.

Rave : Well, that's what he gets by thinking that he can actually run the place.

(He hits him repeatedly with the chained fist and Kade is now busted wide open and blood gushing out of his head.  Kade tries to cover it up but it's no use.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer sees the blood and seems to be even more motivated to inflict pain than ever.)

Jack Bennings : For a goodie two shoes, Paul Mercer really seems to be enjoying this.

(Kade is then caught with a belly to belly suplex by "Merciless" Paul Mercer right on a steel chair.  Kade is screaming out in pain.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer doesn't even notice and gives him a ddt right on the chair.  Kade is pretty much dead now from this beating and can't defend himself.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer looks at the men around the ring and decides to throw Kade outside so they can have just a little piece of him too.)

Rave : That's right, share the fun.  Heh heh heh!!

(The ten men all take turns to beat on the battered Kade.   Jason McAllister grabs Jack's flowers.)

Jack Bennings : Hey, what do you think you're doing with those?

(Jason smashes the flowers over Kade face.  A few scratches can been seen on Kade's face.)

Jack Bennings : Well, at least I still have a box of chocolates to give to my love muffin.

Daryl Johnson : Love muffin?!

Rave : *snicker*

Jack Bennings : Oh, like you never gave pet names to the people you fell in love with.

Rave : Sure, just not to someone on the computer.

(They give him multiple chair shots before sending him back into the ring.  "Merciless" Paul Mercer is now in complete control of this match and has it won without a doubt.  He gets Kade up into a Fireman's Carry and executes the Merciful End on Kade and covers him.  1............2................3!!!!! Paul Mercer gets the victory.)

Terrence Shaw : The winner of this match, "Merciless" Paul Mercer!!!

(Kade is now lying in the ring out cold.  He will not be the same again after this match.  Kade finally wakes up and tries to get to his feet when all of a sudden the crowd errupts and all stand on their feet.  Hardcore Johnny Fox is on his way to the ring.)

Jack Bennings : What's that moron here to do now?

(The crowd starts to chant "Hardcore, Hardcore, Hardcore!!!"  He's got a look of joy on his face as he sees a beaten and battered Kade lying down in the ring.  Hardcore gets in the ring and looks down on Kade with a big smile on his face.  Kade finally gets to his feet and sees Hardcore for the first time.  He is so surprised that he falls back on his ass and starts to scream for Hardcore to let him go.  Hardcore will have none of it and grabs Kade and gets him up and and hits him with a DDT in the ring.)

Rave : Hardcore seems to be adding insult to injury.

Daryl Johnson : Hardcore Johnny Fox will be facing Kade next week for the spot in the Bash for Cash tournament.

(Hardcore then goes on the outside and reaches under the ring and takes out a table.  He sets the table up in the ring close to the corner and then he gets himself and Kade up to the top and sets Kade up for the Light Switch.  Hardcore Johnny Fox sends Kade crashing through the table as the crowd goes wild for Hardcore Johnny Fox, chanting his name with more intensity.  Kade is down and doesn't look like he's gonna get up anytime soon.  The EMT's come down to the ring and attend to Kade.  They put him on a stretcher and roll him into the ambulance.  Kade is hurt bad.)

Rave : Johnny Fox seems like he wants to soften up the competition.

Daryl Johnson : That's a good idea, but now he's going to have the rest of the Goth Gods to contend with as well.
 

Terrence Shaw:  This next match, scheduled for one fall, is a Bash For Cash Qualitying matchup.  Introducing at this time, coming to us straight from Hell, Weighting in at 250 Lbs.....Kataklysm!!!!

(Fire rises on the stage and from below, comes Kataklysm slowly rising throught the flames.  The flames then engulf the stage and the Nibulus pentagram appears in the back while Kataklysm walks through the flames to make his way to the ring.)

Terrence Shaw:  His opponent for this match, weighin in at 290 Lbs.  Trendkill!!!!

(The lights dim, "Voodoo" by Godsmack plays over the P.A. system.  Pyros and laser lights flash all over the arena.  Everyone is awaiting the entrance of Trendkill but after a full minute of waiting, no one appears.)

Terrence Shaw:  Once again...Here is Trendkill!!!!!

(The lights dim once more, the music starts again but still no Trendkill.  We then see a video feed on the Electron.  It is showing Trendkill layin on the ground on his stomac.  The back of his head is bloodied up and he is unconscious.  No one knows what has happened.  A man is standing next to him screaming.)

Man : I don't know what happened man, I was walkin here and when i say him, the guy was freakin down and he was freakin bleeding man, I don't know what happened to him I swear, I ain't seen nothing here!!!

(What happened to him?  We then go back to the ring.)

Terrence Shaw:  Well, as you can see, Trendkill is in no condition to compete here tonight, therefore...The winner, as a result of a forfeit, and advancing to the second round of the Bash For Cash Tournament, Kataklysm!!!!

Jack Bennings:  This picture looks familiar.

Daryl Johnson:  Yes it does Jack.  This looks exactly like it did when Black Dragon was attacked.  He was lyin on the floor also unconscious with a bloodied skull.  Do you think the same man has struck again?

Jack Bennings:  That's what I'm thinking.  This is weird.

Daryl:  Weird indeed...and tragic.  Trendkill is still a young man with still many years ahead of him, hopefully he'll be ok.

Rave : It happens to the best of us sometimes.

Terrence Shaw : This next event is a ten man battle royal.  The first man to take part in this event, weighing in at 287lbs and stands at a height of 6'8", Kyle Vedix!!

(The crowd boos as the lights go out. "Physco Circus" starts to play over the PA system and dim red lights shine on. Kyle Vedix enters. As he approaches the stairs to the ring, red fire works go off around the ropes facing the entranceway before Kyle Vedix enters.)

Terrence Shaw : And the second man in this event, weighing in at 225lbsand stands at a height of 6'1", Slim Josh Shelton!!!

("Forgot about dre" by dre and eminem starts to play over the PA system as Slim Josh Shelton walks down to the ring.  The bell rings as Shelton and Vedix circle around the ring.  Kyle Vedix runs torwards Josh Shelton for a clothesline, but Josh Shelton ducks, grabs Kyle from behind and delivers him to the mat with a german suplex.  Slim Josh Shelton gets back to his feet.  Josh Shelton gets Kyle Vedix back to his feet then leads him torwards the corner.  Josh attempts to hit the top turnbuckle with Kyle's head, but Kyle holds back and smacks Slim Josh Shelton's head on the top turnbuckle three times.)

Daryl Johnson : Looks like Josh Shelton's idea backfired on him.

(Slim Josh Shelton goes down.  Kyle gets Slim Josh Shelton back to his feet.  Kyle attempts to toss Slim Shelton over the top rope, but Slim Josh Shelton holds back.  Kyle keeps trying to push him over the top rope.  The timer is now down to ten.)

Jack Bennings : Now, what moron is going to come to the ring next.

(The crowd starts to count down.  "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1"  Sirens start to blare as "Land Down Under" by Men at Work starts to play over the PA system as Joeb "The Daring" Dafoe runs down to ringside and slides into the ring under the bottom rope.  Joeb attacks Kyle Vedix from behind.  Slim Josh Shelton gets his feet back on the mat.  Joeb takes down Kyle Vedix with a DDT.  Joeb gets Kyle back to his feet.  Joeb and Slim Josh Shelton raises Kyle over their heads, walk to a corner and drops Kyle on the top turnbuckle.)

Daryl Johnson : Ouch!!  Looks like these two men are teaming up to take out Kyle Vedix.

(Joeb "The Daring" Dafoe and Slim Josh Shelton start stomping on Kyle Vedix.  Slim Josh Shelton starts punching Joeb "The Daring" in the face.)

Jack Bennings : Looks like Slim's turning his back on Joeb.

Rave : This is for every man for himself after all.

(Slim Josh Shelton whips Joeb into the corner.  Josh Shelton splashes into Joeb in the corner.  Slim Josh Shelton grabs Joeb's arm then slams him to the mat with a short-arm clothesline.  Kyle Vedix starts climbing back to his feet.  The timer is down to ten once again.)

Daryl Johnson : There are three men in the ring right now, who will be the fourth?

(The crowd counts down with the clock.  "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1"  Sirens start to blare as "Welcome 2 the Party" by Kid Rock starts to play over the PA system.  "Dancin'" Danny Disco runs to ringside and slides under the bottom rope.  "Dancin" Danny Disco clotheslines Slim Josh Shelton.  Slim Josh Shelton tries to get back up, but Danny Disco kicks him in the back.  Josh goes down.  Kyle Vedix sees Joeb down in the corner.  Kyle puts his foot to Joeb's throat and grabs the rope for leverage.  Kyle is choking Joeb.)

Rave : I hate it when they do that.

(Danny Disco goes torwards Kyle and kicks him in the back of the knee.  Kyle falls on his knee and stops choking Joeb.  Danny Disco gets Kyle Vedix to his feet and whips him to the oposite corner.  Joeb comes from behind Danny Disco and applies the sleeperhold.  Danny Disco starts going down.  Josh Shelton is back on his feet.  He walks torwards Kyle and rams his shoulder into Kyle's mid section. The timer is down to ten once again.)

Jack Bennings : Is this timer really set at one minute?

Daryl Johnson : Should be.

(The crowd counts down with the clock.  "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1"  Sirens start to blare as "Jesus built my Hot Rod" by Ministry starts to play over the PA system.  Jason "Highway" McAllister walks down to ringside confidently.  Josh Shelton chokes Kyle with his boot to Kyle's throat, keeping balance by putting his hands on the top rope.  Jason McAllister climbs into the ring.  Josh Shelton is kicking Kyle in the gut.  Jason McAllister starts giving Kyle the same treatment.  Joeb Dafoe drops Danny Disco on the mat.  Josh and Jason each grab one of Kyle's arms and send him to the other corner where Joeb is standing.  Joeb takes down Kyle with a spear.)

Daryl Johnson : Excelent team effort by those three men.

Rave : It's going to be a while before Kyle gets back to his feet.

(Josh Shelton turns torwards Jason and takes him down with a DDT.  Joeb grabs a hold of Slim Josh Shelton and takes him down with a power bomb.  Joeb gets Kyle back up to his feet.  Joeb leads Kyle to the ropes and tries to lift him over the top rope, but Kyle has one of his legs mixed in the bottom and second rope.  Joeb keeps trying to shove him over the top rope.  Jason McAllister gets back to his feet and tries to help Joeb.  The timer is down to ten once again.)

Rave : I love it when the crowd starts counting with the timer.

(The crowd counts down with the clock.  "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1"  Sirens start to blare as "He got Game" starts to play over the PA system.  Dusty Taylor runs to the ring.  Danny Disco is up.  Danny Disco kicks Dusty Taylor in the stomach then takes him down with a spinning neck breaker.  Slim Josh Shelton gets back to his feet.  Danny Disco gets Dusty Taylor to his feet.  Josh Shelton comes from behind and grabs both men in a headlock.  Josh Shelton executes a bulldog on both men.  Josh Shelton turns around then sends him to the ropes.  Joeb bounces off the ropes and receives a clothesline.  Kyle pokes Jason McAllister in the eyes.)

Jack Bennings : Now, I know that move was copied off the Three Stooges.

(Kyle gets his feet back on the mat.  Kyle punches Jason several times in the head then body slams him on the mat.  Kyle falls to his hands and knees.  Josh Shelton drops an elbow onto Kyle's back.  Kyle falls to the mat with his hand on his back.)

Daryl Johnson : Kyle won't be able to handle this much pain any longer.

(Josh Shelton gets Kyle back up to his feet.  The timer is down to ten once again.  The crowd counts down with the clock.  "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1"  Sirens start to blare as "Living Dead Girl" starts to play.  Fire Angel runs down to the ring.  Dusty Taylor sees him and tries out for a clothesline.  Dusty Taylor and Fire Angel flip over the top rope and fall to ringside.  Both Fire Angel and Dusty Taylor are eliminated.)

Rave : Fire Angel didn't even have the time to put a move on somebody!!

Jack Bennings : Gotta break some eggs to make scrambled eggs.

Daryl Johnson : What is that supposed to mean?

Jack Bennings : Ummm...  Don't know, just felt like saying it.

Rave : You're one of those egg men, aren't you?

(Josh Shelton whips Kyle in the corner but Kyle jumps over the top rope and lands his feet on the apron.  Joeb delivers a swift elbow to Kyle's face.  Kyle goes down, but falls on the apron, holding one of the ropes.)

Daryl Johnson : That's a close call for Kyle Vedix.

(Danny Disco attacks Joeb, ready for a belly to back suplex, but Joeb surprises him with an elbow to the face.  Disco lets go and backs away.  Joeb runs torwards Danny and takes him down with a dropkick.  Josh Shelton locks up with Jason McAllister.  Jason McAllister takes down Josh Shelton with an armbar.  The timer is down to ten once again.  The crowd counts down with the clock.)

Jack Bennings : How many of these idiots are there left?

("10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1"  Sirens start to blare as T-Bone comes running down to the ring.  Joeb goes for T-Bone, but T-Bone delivers an uppercut to Joeb.  Jason McAllister gets back to his feet, so does Josh Shelton.  Josh Shelton takes down Jason McAllister with a DDT.  Kyle climbs back to his feet and slips back between the ropes.  Kyle goes for Danny Disco.  Kyle gets Danny Disco to his feet, but Danny drives his shoulder into Kyle's ribs twice.  Danny Disco delivers Kyle to the mat with a hiptoss.  Danny Disco twists Kyle's legs into a figure four leglock.  Josh Shelton gets Jason McAllister back to his feet then takes him down with a power bomb.  T-Bone whips Joeb into the corner.  T-Bone attempts to splash into Joeb, but Joeb raises a foot and kicks him on the jaw.)

Rave : That always works.

(T-Bone jerks around, his back facing Joeb.  Joeb climbs to the top turnbuckle and takes down T-Bone with a bulldog.  Josh Shelton sets up Jason for a verticle suplex, but Jason McAllister reverses it, delivering Josh to the mat.  The timer is down to ten once again.)

Rave : Too bad Terrence didn't tell us the order of entrances.

(The crowd counts down with the clock.  "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1" Sirens start to blare as "Welcome 2 the Party" by Kid Rock starts to play over the PA system.  "Prancin'" Manny Crisco walks torwards the ring.  Danny Disco has Kyle back to his feet.  Danny Disco signals to Manny Crisco.  Manny Crisco holds one of the ropes down.)

Rave : looks like Kyle's finally going to get disqualafied.

(Danny Disco whips Kyle to the ropes but Kyle reverses it.  Danny Disco flips over the ropes and falls to ringside.  Danny Disco has been eliminated.  Manny Crisco can't beleive what he just did.  Kyle comes from behind, scoops up Manny Crisco and tosses him over the ropes.)

Jack Bennings : Yes!!  it is now time for Vampiro to rise once more!!

Rave : just shut up before I punch you in the face.

Jack Bennings : O.K.

(Manny Crisco has been eliminated.  Joeb Dafoe and Jason McAllister doubleclotheslines Kyle.  Kyle is down.  Josh Shelton and T-Bone are up on their feet.  T-Bone comes from behind and takes down Josh Shelton with a facebuster.  Jason McAllister and Joeb Dafoe raises Kyle straight in the air for a few seconds, then slam him to the mat with a verticle suplex.  T-Bone tosses Slim Josh Shelton over the top rope and Josh falls down to ringside.  Slim Josh Shelton has been eliminated.  The timer is down to ten once again.)

Daryl Johnson : Slim Josh Shelton has been eliminated just in time for the last participant for the battle royal to come out.

(The crowd counts down with the clock.  "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1" Sirens start to blare as "Sugar Coated Sour" by Dillinger Escape Plan starts to play over the PA system.  Neurosis runs down to the ring and starts beating on Kyle Vedix.  T-Bone heads torwards Jason McAllister and punches him several times.  Jason responds the same way.  Neurosis and Joeb "The Daring" Dafoe try and get Kyle over the ropes.  Kyle hugs the ropes tightly.  T-Bone power bombs McAllister on the mat.  T-Bone sees Joeb and Neurosis trying to get Kyle out of the ring.  T-Bone clotheslines Joeb "the Daring" Dafoe.  Joeb flips over the top rope and falls down to ringside.  Joeb has been eliminated.)

Daryl Johnson : Now, four men are left in the ring.

Rave : And only one of them can win.

Jack Bennings : Geeze!!  glad you guys cleared that up.  I had no idea!!

Daryl Johnson : I hate it when you talk sarcastically.

(Jason McAllister gets back to his feet.  Neurosis stops the attempt to disqualafy Kyle.  Neurosis start trading punches.  Neurosis grabs T-Bone by the arm, Jason grabs the other.  Both men push him against the ropes then whip him into the ropes on the oposite side.  T-Bone bounces off the ropes, then receives a double clothesline from Neurosis and Jason.  Jason gets T-Bone back to his feet.  Kyle attacks Neurosis from behind.  Kyle lifts him up and takes him down with an atomic drop.  Neurosis goes down.  Jason McAllister whips T-Bone to the corner.  Jason climbs up the turnbuckle and starts punching T-Bone.  The crowd starts counting.  "1, 2, 3, 4,..."  T-Bone gives Jason a severe blow to the groin, stopping the count abruptly.)

Rave : Jason McAllister didn't see that coming.

Daryl Johnson : Neither did the fans.

(T-Bone lifts himself to the top rope, scoops up Jason and drops him to ringside.  Jason McAllister has been eliminated.)

Jack Bennings : Two idiots and a fellow goth god in the ring.  I bet 100$ that Kyle's going to win.

Rave : O.K., one hundred bucks says he'll lose.

(Kyle Vedix tries to push Neurosis off the top rope.  T-Bone punches Kyle Vedix, taking him away from Neurosis.  Neurosis sets his feet back on the mat.  T-Bone punches Kyle who falls back to the corner.  Neurosis joins in and starts punching Kyle along with T-Bone.  Both men decide to lift Kyle over their heads and toss him down to ringside.  Kyle has been eliminated.)

Jack Bennings : Noooooo!!!

Rave : You got a hundred dollar bill to give me Bennings.

(Neurosis and T-Bone lock up.  T-Bone send Neurosis to a corner.  T-Bone runs torwards him and splashes on him.  Neurosis stumbles around the ring.  T-Bone wraps his arm around Neurosis' head for a headlock.  Neurosis drops to his knees and delivers a low blow.  T-Bone holds on to the top rope, away from Neurosis.  Neurosis goes for a clothesline.  T-Bone holds down the top rope.  Neurosis flips over the ropes, but T-Bone flips also.  Neurosis drops to ringside but T-Bone has his arm twisted in the ropes with only one foot on the floor.)

Terrence Shaw : Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and qualifier for the National title, T-Bone!!!

Daryl Johnson : That was intense!!  Both men went out, but only one man actually dropped to the floor.

Jack Bennings : I say he got ripped off.

Rave : Yeah, so did you.  Time for the next match!!!

(All of a sudden, the entire West Coast Connection comes running down to ringside and attack T-Bone.)

Daryl Johnson : What are they doing?  T-Bone's already tired enough after being in this battle Royal, what more could they get from him?

(Michael Cash body slams T-Bone onto the concrete floor.  Dr. Dre hands him a can of spray paint, using the spray to write a giant W on T-Bone's chest.  Michael Cash drops the can of spray paint on top of T-Bone, then the entire West Coast Connection leave him on the floor.)

Rave : obviously, Michael Cash isn't too happy about the fact that T-Bone won the contendership.

Jack Bennings : Obviously, he's giving T-Bone a message.

Daryl Johnson : I just hope that he'll tell us what that message was.

Terrence Shaw:  Ladies and gentlemen, this next match, scheduled for one fall, is a Bash For Cash Qualifying match.  Introducing first, from Kuwait city,  Weighing in at 210 Lbs., The Great Baba Ganoush!!!!!

(Rock the Casba starts to play over the PA system as purple smoke and sparks appear.  Baba comes out with pesant girls throwng down rose petels for him to walk on.  He's wearing a purple turban and long flowng purple cape that other pesant girls will hold up in the back so it doesnt drag the ground)

Terrence Shaw:  And his opponent for this match, coming to us from Compton CA, weighing 200 Lbs. Accompanied by Kracker D, one half of the Kamakazee Gangsters, here is Little Whitey!!!!!!

(The lights go out and "Can I get a...." begins to play. Strobe lights and lasers are flashing everywhere in the arena as Little Whitey makes his way to the ring accompanied by Kracker D.  Both men stand in each corner of the ring, referee signals for the bell 'ring ring ring'.  This match is underway.  Little Whitey and Baba Ganoush lock up Little Whitey gets Baba in an armbar to start off.  Baba reverses into a headlock, Little Whitey sends Baba into the ropes, catches him with a shoulder block.  Baba gets back up, Little Whitey hits him with punches, a right, a left, a right, a left...)

Jack Bennings : Let's hope Baba doesn't do something stupid and bite the guys ear off.

(Baba is getting wobbly, Little Whitey with an Irish Whip to the corner, Baba hits hard and is hit with a elbow in the corner by Little Whitey.  Little Whitey is in total control of this match.  Little Whitey goes for another elbow to the corner but Baba catches him with a big foot to the face.)

Rave : Let's hope he washed those feet before walking in the ring.

(Little Whitey is now on the defensive, Baba grabs Little Whitey and positions him in the corner, he nails him with fists from right to left, mixed in with some kicks to the stomach until Little Whitey is down on the mat.  Baba is stomping on Little Whitey.  Little Whitey has enough and rolls out of the ring.  Baba follows him and gets a kick to the stomach by Little Whitey.  Little Whitey hits Baba's head on the steel steps hard.)

Daryl Johnson : That has got to be one hell of a devastating hit to the jaw.

(Baba is hurting now.  Little Whitey whips Baba into the metal barriers at ringside and Baba's back hits hard as he goes down to the concrete floor.  Little Whitey picks up a chair and is ready to hit Baba with it.  The referee gets in Little Whitey's face and stops him from hitting Baba.  While the referee is turned, Kracker D comes up to Baba and sneak attacks him.)

Daryl Johnson : Oh, C'mon ref.  pay attention to what's happening in the ring!!

(Kracker D hits Baba with an Axe Handle to the back and Baba goes down.  Little Whitey is arguing with the ref to keep him occupied while Kracker D gets Baba back up and gives him a piledrivers on the little mats at ringside.  Baba is beaten and hurting bad.  Kracker D gets Baba back up and holds him in a Full Neilson.  Little Whitey gets rid of the ref and runs towards Baba to hit him with a hard forearm but Baba is able to get down and Little Whitey hits his own partner Kracker D.)

Rave : Looks like all that cheating had a turn for the worse.

(Little Whitey then tries to appoligize to his partner and Baba goes crawls back in the ring and gets his wits back.  Little Whitey finally gets back in the ring, Baba is lying down on the mat playin possum, Little Whitey goes for an elbow off the second rope Baba moves out of the way, Baba gets Little Whitey with a snap suplex followed by a sit down powerbomb.  Baba covers Little Whitey.referee counts...1.........2.........kick out, Little Whitey kicks out just in time.)

Rave : Now, that was close.

(Baba stays on him, follows up with a bodyslam, he climbs the second rope, delivers a perfect legdrop onto Little Whitey who is by now hurting bad.  Little Whitey is brought up by Baba, Baba gets Little Whitey with a running bulldog.  Baba gets up after the bulldog and spins his arm in the air.  Baba signals his finisher.  He gets Little Whitey up on his feet and catches him with the Arabian Slam.  Little Whitey's head bounces off the mat.  Baba immediately makes the cover, referee gets into position, 1..........2.......... Kickout!!  Baba argues to the ref about the count.  Little whitey comes from behind and takes down Baba in a sunset flip.  "1...2...3")

Terrence Shaw : the winner of this match, Little Whitey!!!

Daryl Johnson : Little Whitey pulls off and excelent last minute win.  But now, it is time for tonight's main event.

Terrence Shaw:  And now everyone, It's time for the ECWF Monday NIght Sizzler Main Event.  Tonight, The Main Event consists of two of the best in the ECWF.  Willow and Renegade who will face of in a Bring Your Own Weapon Hell in A Cell Match to decide the ECWF World Heavyweight Championship.  Introducing first, coming down to the ring at this time, he is the ECWF World Heavyweight champion of the world, he weighs 372 Lbs.  From right here in Detroit Michigan, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRENEGAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!!!!!!!

("Metal Militia" by Metalica start to play as pyro shoot up.  Renegade emerges from the smoke and walks on his way to the ring, with him is a man wearing a cloak over himself.  He is a big man and he is draggin with him a barel full of weapons like chairs, garbage cans, garbage can lids, cookie sheets, bats 2x4's and such. The door to the cell is open and the mystery man reaches under the ring to get a table and he sets it up in the middle of the ring and then exits the cell and goes to sit beside the announcing table and doesn't move from there.  We then see Renegade climbing to the top of the cell and he stops when he's reached the top.  He stands there and awaits the arrival of Willow.)

Terrence Shaw:    His opponent, he is the challenger to the title, from Bismark, North Dakota, weighing in at 238 Lbs.  Willooooooooooooooowwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Willow does his entrance and goes into the ring and looks up at Renegade.  Renegade is telling him to climb the cage and meet him up there and Willow gladly accepts the invitation.  He gets out of the cell and meets Renegade on top.  Bell rings three times and the match will be underway.  The two men are on top of the cage, Renegade was expecting Willow and got him with a clothesling.  Willow falls on the cell ceiling.)

Jack Bennings : I remember doing something similar to this with Trinity last night.

Daryl Johnson : Yeah, that's what you dream about anyway.

(Willow gets back up and Renegade catches him with a superkick to the head.  Willow goes down once again.  Renegade signals for something and gets Willow with a kick to the gut.  He gets Willows head between his legs and is going for a powerbomb.  Willow is powerbombed on the top of the cage and he goes right through the top and falls on the table that was set up in the middle of the ring by this unknown man at ringside.)

Rave : That doesn't look like fun.

(Willow has been broken in half and is laying there amongst the debri of the table all around him in the ring.  Renegade sees the oppertunity and starts to climb down the ring but his foot gets caught in the side of the cage for a while but manages to get it out.  Once he's in the cage, he simply covers Willow and the ref couts..1........2.......OH and kick out!!!)

Daryl Johnson : Both men are fighting for the World heavyweight title here tonight.  One of them wants it, the other refuses to give it up.  What's going to happen with this match?

(Willow kicks out...Renegade is pissed and he goes back to the outside and grabs Jack's box of chocolates and gets a box of weapons in the ring.)

Jack Bennings : Hey!!  Get your own damn box of chocolates, will you?

(From the box he takes a cookie sheet and he smacks Willow over the head with it.  one time, two times, three times....  He does the same with the box of chocolates, spilling its contenst everywhere.  Willow finally goes down.)

Rave : Looks like that box of chocolates finally brought him down.

(Jack Bennings wheeps, burrying his face in his palms.  Renegade goes to the ropes and delivers a hard leg drop on Willow.  A chair is then utilized by Renegade on Willows back and once Willow is down again on the mat, Renegade sets the chair up over Willows Body.  Renegade then climbs the top rope.  This is unfamiliar territory for him and it shows, he's taking a long time to climb there but once he gets on top, he jumps and goes for an elbow, Willow moves out of the way and Renegade gets nothign but mat on that one and yells out in pain.  He looks to be injured as he's holding his shoulder really hard and screaming out in pain.  Willow manages to scurry up to his feet and sees the oppertunity and grabs the chair at his side.  He hits Renegade over the head and makes a huge dent in the steel chair.)

Jack Bennings : looks like someone's going to have to find another place to sit.

(Renegade is busted open.  Willow gets Renegade down on the mat and snaps the Rings Of Saturn on him.  Renegade holds on for a rather long while but the pain of a seperated shoulder is just too much and he taps out....The bell rings and we have a new ECWF Champion.  Willow is awarded the title by the referee and while he is catching his breath, the mystery man at ring side slowly and sneakily comes into the ring and grabs the baseball bat from inside the box of weapons.  He sneaks up behind Willow and hits him in the back with the bat.  Willow drops the belt and falls to his knees in agony.)

Rave : what's going on?  Who the hell is that guy anyway?

(The man hits him one more time for good measure and Willow is now down on the mat and not moving.  The man then drops the bat and looks into the box of weapons.  Renegade is now sitting down in one corner of the ring and he watches as the man takes a plywood board full of sharp nails from out of the box.  The crowd goes wild as they see it and the man lays the board on the mat.  He then goes to Willow and gets him up and gets close to the board.  He sets up Willow for a vertical suplex and drops Willow on his back on the bed of nails.  Willow squirming in pain as nails have potruded the skin on his back.  the man then gets him up and delivers a double-underhook suplex to Willow.  Renegade is now up and the man takes off his mask and reveels his identity.)

Jack Bennings:  It's T-BONE!!!

Daryl Johnson:  Yes it is!!! T-Bone has alligned himself apparently with Renegade...what's going on here?  What is this?

Jack Bennings:  Why you asking me, do I look like I would know?

Rave : maybe Vampiro would.

Daryl Johnson : We'll have to wait until next week to know what's going on here...

(all of a sudden, tony walks out from the entranceway.)

Tony:  Hold on...Hold on there Terry.  Daryl...Jack, I'm sorry but you're gonna have to stay on the air for a few more minutes because I have a little presentation to make.

(Terrence screams at Tony to get the hell out of here but Tony just goes on.)

Tony:  Don't worry Terry, as soon as I'm done here with this, you'll definately want me to stick around.  Now, Terry, I want you to listen to what I have to say very carefully.  What I have here in my hand is a piece of paper.  But it's no ordinary piece of paper though.  This, Terry, is a legal document.  And what this legal document is the same legal document that we both signed on the day that this fed was created at the end of last year.  Remeber this document Terry.  Remember it?  Well, in case you don't, let me refresh your memory a little bit.  You see you bunch of blithering idiots, on the day that the ECWF was officially founded, me and Terry here both agreed to a deal that would make me and him the co-owners of the great fed.  Now, a month ago or so, Terry decided to fire me unexpectedly so he could hire a replacement for me by the name of Brian Roberts.  But you see, that wasn't legal as this contract in my hand states that in no way shape or form, is Terrence Shaw or Terry if you will, allowed to fire me.  Therefore, to all my great many fans out there..*crowd boos*..I'd just like to say, Tony is back as the ECWF commishionner and as my first order of duty, I'd just want to assure Mr. Roberts that his services will still be required.  *Tony turns around and looks at Jack Bennings.*  Jack, I'd like to thank you for the support you've given me.  You see a true friend is one who gives to others and you've geven me so much.  So I want to give you a little something in return.  Jack, I want to offer you your very own servant.  He will be Brian Roberts.  He will do everything you want him too.  He will cook and clean and do anything else you want or need him to.  Now he may be a little bit un-cooperative with this so I tell him now, if he does not follow every single order you give him from now on, Jack you just tell me and I'll fire his ass! *Jack says thank you to Tony and looks to be very happy with his gift.*  Now Terrence, it's good to be back in business with you.  I think we'll still make a good team.  Oh and by the way, I've had my lawyers write up a new claus in the contract.  This claus says that if you ever try to pull anykind of stunt and get me out of the ECWF again.  Then you are gone and the ECWF is mine!! GOT IT????

(Right then and there, Brian Roberts comes out to the ring and comes face to face with Tony "The Dream"  The two are eye-to-eye and are sayin things to each other that we can't hear.  Finally, Brian knocks Tony down with a stiff right hand.  Tony goes down to the mat and then gets up.  Emmediately, the two police officers come in the ring and secure Brian Roberts.*

Tony:  Guys, cuff this guy, he just assulted me, I want him in Jail...NOW!!!!!

(The two cops attempt to cuff Brian but he manages to get away and jumps at Tony and a big brawl ensues as the show goes off the air.)

Daryl Johnson:  This is incredible,  Jack has a new servant in Brian Roberts, Tony is back as our commishionner, this is insane, what is going to happen to the ECWF now, ladies and gentlemen, we're completely out of time, tune in next week to see what happens....it should be spectacular....SEE YA THEN!!!!

Jack Bennings:  YOOHOO!!!!! TONY'S BACK!!!!!!!!THIS IS GREAT!!!!